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With this you will never run out of things to say

When it comes to the topic of "How to talk to girls" the most common questions I encounter are:

* "What do I say to girls"... and

* "What is the best thing to say?"

The main issue I have with this types of questions is that it usually would not change anything for the person asking them, because:

1) As common dating coach cliché will tell you: "It doesn't matter what you say verbally". If you are seen as "attractive", anything will have been the right thing to say and she will comment to her friends how charmed she was by what you said. If you are seen as "unattractive", anything will have been the wrong thing to say, and she will comment to her friends about how "cheesy" or "creepy" what you had said is. Ironically enough, the main factor for being seen as unattractive is being contrived. Being contrived will make women feel queasy and "objectified". The best thing to say, is whatever comes up naturally, in the moment. Ideally, you want to just walk up to the woman, and let your mouth start moving by itself, saying whatever the moment produces.

2) "What is the best thing to say?" is in the mindset of "what is the one thing I can impress a girl most with". And this is the mindset that is most likely to kill off any attraction she might have felt for you in the first place. Do you know what women mean by the all-famous "just be yourself"? Let me translate their "womenspeak" into earth-language. It means "don't be a tryhard who's concentrating on how to impress me by putting on a persona, just be yourself, pay attention to me and actually listen to me, let your natural personality shine-through, and if something happens for us, it happens... Let things happen and unfold naturally". Women absolutely despise (to the core of their being, they actually feel a little violated and a little sick), when they can feel that the man interacting with them is "doing something"... i.e. he has an agenda, and an outcome in mind (he's objectifying her). So the best place to go out, is the one that naturally arises out of the situation (common interests, things she liked about you, things you discussed).

With this in mind, is there no value to these questions at all? Actually, these are great questions, but I just wanted to set you up in the proper mindset before I answered them.

It is VERY valuable to know exactly "what to say" to a woman. And the reason is not what you think. The reason that guys ask "how do I start the conversation, give me the words", or "how do I ask for the date", is simply because they don't feel comfortable in doing so. They are not the kind of a person who can just "naturally" walk up to any woman and have a charming, fun interaction flow out of him in and effortless manner... And don't worry, about 90% of the male population is unable to do this "natural" thing as well.

"So that's all good and well man... but what if I am not one of these guys who just walks up to the woman and finds himself naturally saying the right things, in the moment?". That's where the usefulness of the first question comes in. The way to become that person FAST... ironically enough is to not care about what happens. In order for your mouth to move and say the right things in a charming, smooth, seductive way you need to GENUINELY not care what happens. Being totally comfortable with whatever unfolds. That is the secret... the more comfortable and natural you feel about walking up and talking to a woman, the more your mouth will start saying the right things without even thinking and the more charming and attractive the woman will find you.

So what is the fastest way to get comfortable and natural with starting conversations and asking women out? The fastest way possible is to get ready-made "conversation-starters" and "ways of asking her out" (there's a ton of these "techniques" in the so called "dating coach" and "pickup community" industry, just do a search). Most of these techniques and methods are based on imitating what a "natural" who's "being himself" would say or do.

Using these will always be on the "objectification" side and will always be a lot less "effective" than "being yourself", so accept the fact that there is a much smaller chance something will unfold with the women you "use" these "tools" and "techniques" on, than had you just went in and let things happen naturally... But since you're not a "natural", this is the only way of becoming one.

Don't get me wrong, you will end up "hooking up" or "dating" some of these women, simply by virtue of them having liked you anyway.

Just make sure to not use the techniques as a way to get her to "go on a date", "like me" or "sleep with me". Use these techniques and lines as a way to practice your social skills. Have the attitude of "I am simply practicing engaging people into fun conversations and asking women out... if something comes out of it, that's cool, but if all I get is a little more social skill, I am just as happy"... Have absolutely ZERO expectation and agenda with the women you're speaking to (objectification). Do this enough many times, and pretty soon, in no time at all you will magically "find yourself" engaging women and saying all the right things, spontaneously and "in the moment". You will be a natural too.

Now why did I tease you, only to in the end give you lines you came here looking for? Because unless you use them from the proper mindset described above, these lines will bring a ton of bad experiences in your life. Just remember to use them as an outcome-less "how to talk to girls" exercise as opposed to ways of "getting her to", and you'll be fine.

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